I am realizing that as a mom, you start to see parts of yourself in a deeper way that you have never seen before. That is why I decided to start a blog so I could write out my thoughts and have a way to get all the junk out of my head and fill my head with the word of God. I mean Jesus died so that we could live a redeemed life and it would be a real shame if we didn't take advantage of that. I think for so many people it is so hard to see that we are worthy of this redemption. It sounds so silly that we would have a hard time receiving the love, peace, and joy of the Lord, but I know from my own experience that this has been true in my life. I have always loved to write but I never have written, so I will start with this blog as a hobby to have some "me" time as a mom. I know it is important for me to give myself some "me" time or I won't be able to fully give of myself to my daughter, husband, other family members, students, and friends.

One thing that is on my heart this morning is a trait I spent some time asking for forgiveness from God this morning. Competiveness and judgement. I always have in the past wanted to be perfect. This desire for perfection is not healthy. If God had wanted me to be perfect, He would have made me Jesus, but He didn't and I need to accept this. I judge people, I judge myself, I even judge people that I admire. I guess to an extent all people are guilty of judging. But it says in James 4:11, "Anyone who speaks against his brother or judges him speaks against the law and judges it. When you judge the law, you are not keeping it, but sitting in judgment on it." Romans 14:13 says "Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in your brother's way". Today I am giving my judging spirit to God and asking Him to replace it with a spirit that sees whatever is good, noble, excellent, or praiseworthy (Philipians 4:8) As I give God my judging spirit and replace it with with grace and forgiveness, I know I will find a greater peace and will be able to live in the joy of the Lord.

Now I know although it is not healthy for me to judge all things, it is good to seek growth and improvement for myself in all areas. This is simply a matter of self evaluation, the difference between this and judgement is that there is no condemnation in self evaluation, whereas judgement is full of condemnation.

Anytime I compare or compete against others it is born out of a judging spirit so I know when these behaviors show up in my life that God loves us all equally regardless of our performance. Although because I love God, I will do my best to grow not because I want the recognition, simply because I love God.

More thoughts on this later I am out of time:)